Into My Own Rabbit Hole

Last night I had dinner with The Artist. I was supposed to see him and spend some time with him last Saturday night, but work got crazy for both of us, and it just ended up being a quick drink and then we went our separate ways. So, we planned for dinner last night at a little bistro that was about half way between each of our apartments, and it was great!

During dinner we talked about topical things. Work, interests, art, the usual. We came to realize that we always just discuss topical, current things and never really delve into ourselves and past. Well, the wine was a-flowing and that soon changed.

It was such a great night it actually kind of took me by surprise. I went there expecting to be hurt with the knowledge that we weren't going to be more than friends. But we have finally found our groove with one another, understanding our relationship and it’s such a relief. There’s no more stress and pressure about it, and once that was realized, things were so much more comfortable.

So, we finish out the night of drinking and talking about our sexual exploits, sharing stories and laughs like the old, sex-crazed friends we are. We talked about our experiences with each other and with other people. I thought it was supposed to be awkward, but it wasn't at all.

And at the end of the night I still got my good-night kiss!

I'm not talking the friendly pecks on the cheek or lips that are our norm. I'm talking about that "toe-curling, kiss me senseless all night long" good-night kiss...with nibbles.

*sigh* God, I love the nibbles! And those hands? LOVE those hands!

After about 15 minutes of smooching and wandering hands while standing up against my car in the parking lot, I finally and regretfully backed away. We both just look into each other’s eyes, sigh a heavy sigh, well aware of our chemistry and just share that knowing look. I tell him I need to go and he lets me.

As he walks to his car, I get in mine and smile like a Cheshire cat with the knowledge that I’ve still got it! There is extreme satisfaction in knowing he still wants me, but at least from here on out it will be my call, not his.

I know that nothing is going to be more than what we have of our friendship, but that’s OK. The occasional toe-curling kisses are fun enough for me!