I Believe in Christmas Miracles

Once in a while, I get that sense of foreboding. You know, that feeling in your gut like you just know something bad is going to happen? I don't get that feeling often, but when I do it is usually dead-on right, and I have come to fear that feeling.

I had started to get that sense recently when someone incredibly close to me said that they were going to take a long trip to a part of the world that isn't always known to be the safest for singular, unaccompanied travelers. Knowing what this trip meant to the person, I was being as supportive as possible and ignoring this sense in me. I wasn't telling anyone my fears; not my friends, family, or this one person.

Until last Sunday.

Two Saturdays ago I had a bunch of the girlies over and we had SUCH a great time. It felt so good to laugh and enjoy time with my closest friends. Bubbles ended up crashing over and we went for breakfast the next morning. When we were chatting about plans for the holidays and catching up on other random stuff, this whole thing came up. She asked how I really felt about it, and maybe it's because it's the first time anyone asked me what I actually thought about this person taking/making this trip, but I just let it all out. I was really upset and scared for this person, but was determined not to let it show. I wanted to be supportive and understanding, not critical and weepy.

So, amidst the tears and weepy, scared feelings for this person, I did something I haven't done in quite a long time: I asked for something purely for myself. I sent a prayer into the universe asking if there was any way for this trip not to happen because I was beyond scared: I was terrified. That sense of foreboding went beyond just worry, it was an ugly fear that if this person took this trip, they might not ever come back...and not for love of the location and the wonderful sites I'm sure they would see.

Come Monday when this person and I were chatting, I asked how the planning was going for the trip. They very simply said, "It's not. Something came up, and I'm not going." I nearly cried with relief and wasn't able to compose myself before a single tear escaped my eye.

I can go the entire Christmas season without receiving a single gift just for knowing that my prayer was answered.