Clowns to the Left, Jokers to the Right...

What to do when your sister, who is your best friend above all, and your parents put you in the middle of their conflict? I'm not talking an every-day argument about politics or religion. I'm talking about the very important issue of my sister's serious boyfriend/possible future husband.
I love my sister, and want nothing but the best for her because she deserves the world. And of course I love my parents who have always been there for me with their unconditional love and support, and their wisdom of the ages. My sister knows that we (me, my brother and parents) have concerns about her relationship, and have talked about them before on a very surface-like level. My sister is the oldest of us three, and she'll be turning 29 this year. She's been away from home since she was 18, and has done incredibly well for herself and her life. I am extremely proud of all she has done, especially the fact that she just bought her first house last May, all on her own! That alone is quite an accomplishment for many these days. But when she bought the house, her boyfriend moved in with her, and she's been learning a lot about him and his habits...as we all are, and not all of them great habits.

On the surface Jeff is a nice guy, but there is just something about him that sends up a little flag. He's always making excuses as to why he can never come to Long Island to visit with my sister, but then complains that he doesn't really "know" us. And when we go to visit them in PA, hoping to spend some quality time bonding and doing what it is you do with possible future in-laws, he sits in front of the TV the entire time and makes no effort to make conversation or anything. And it's not like he doesn't know how to interact with people, because I've seen him do it! We've gone out to a bar a couple of times and there he's Mr. Party! There is just that slight under-tone of disrespect that comes off of him towards us that I don't appreciate, especially for my sister.

There's a lot more to it than this, and I'm sure the other side is fraught with information I'm not privy to, but it's still frustrating to see what I am exposed to. The other night, apparently my sister and parents got into a pretty heated and emotional conversation about her relationship with Jeff and his family. The next morning, my sister called me bright and early to grill me about mom and dad, and if they had ever said anything in past to me about her. I was broad-sided and hadn't had my first cup of coffee yet, so my mind was a little slow about what was being said. I tried to be relatively neutral, but couldn't help voicing my own concerns as well. I think she took it all in fairly well, especially when I asked if she preferred for us NOT talk to her. To that, she said no...she was glad that we talk to her and let her know our concerns. But now I am worried about the relationship between my sister and my parents. What I am hoping, though, is that maybe these conversations will stir my sister up a little bit to at least see what the rest of us see, and then make a decision knowing the full picture.