Happy New Year?

It's my birthday, officially since 12:20am! And what have I done so far? Been pissed off and upset, gotten into a fight, cried, cried some more, and now blogging and crying simultaneously! All before noon!

Last night was great. I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while, and it was good to catch up. But my roommate, one of the only few I really wanted to be there, didn't make it because she had to work late. I understand, sure, things go on and especially right now work is hell for her. But I guess it started to go down hill when she sent me a text instead of a phone call to let me know she wasn't going. It immediately killed my mood and I decided to go home right then, too. To make matters worse, when I got home, I realized her boyfriend was over, spending the night. That just made it go from disappointment to full out hurt. You know the old adage, "never go to bed angry or upset"? Yeah, I don't bide by that too much.

So, when I woke up this morning to take my car to the mechanics, I was still pretty upset and hurt, so I tried to leave the house without even speaking to her, because I really didn't have anything to say. She stopped me, asking why I was pissed she had to work late, and I replied saying, "I'm not pissed you worked late. I'm upset and hurt, and all around disappointed to find out your boyfriend was here when I got home last night." And I just kept walking. Not exactly nice of me, I know, but she'd chosen her boyfriend of two months over a friendship of 4+ years. Plus, it was my birthday and it was the one night I could celebrate with my closest friends before going away for the weekend. She knew she wasn't going to see me until Monday, so I had really wanted to make that night count!

When I got back from the mechanics, there was a note saying I had no right to be pissed, that she didn't have to explain herself, that her and her boyfriend just went right to bed and didn't 'do' anything, and that I was being an insensitive bitch! Well, happy freaking birthday to me! We've had fights in the past, understandably, since living with a person tends to bring out all sorts of issues, but never has it been reduced to name-calling, and that really stung like a slap in the face. I called her at work, and tried to explain that what hurt the most is not that she missed the party, as disappointing as that was, but that she still put more effort into seeing her boyfriend and have him come over and spend the night with her, when I couldn't even get the courtesy of a phone call for her not making a party she knew meant a lot to me, since I wouldn't be seeing her all weekend, and which she said she'd be there come hell or high water. Apparently hell came and high water went, and she was unphased. She then proceeded to yell at me, tell me more hurtful things, call me a bitch again, and finished off with saying she didn't care if she ruined my birthday because I've ruined her day. I know I may sound a bit whinny, but what is the point of a birthday if you can't make it all about you. It's your day! Your one day to be able to make it all about you, and I got cheated.

What a way to kick off my new year! I certainly hope this is not a reflection of what is to come this year.