Learning Curves

So I went, I saw, and I conquered!!! Or more like I went, sat it traffic, arrived late, had a stiff drink, ate some good food, and did some smooching in the car!! :) I was able to see Dante for about 2 hours last night, and it was nice. He was busy working, but it was really quite entertaining to watch him work. He's definitely got charm and charisma, and knows how to read his customers and deal with them all as individuals...it was really quite amazing actually. I have always thought bartending would be so much fun, and watching him work kind of makes me wish I did some bar tending sometimes...and I told him, too, that it was fun to watch him work, and I received a very warm, but kind of shy, smile as a reward. He didn't let me pay for a thing, and I argued, so my total bill came to a whopping $3. A gentleman to the last, he even opens doors for me! I wasn't really sure how things were going to be after the way it was left Monday morning when he dropped me off at my car. That's why I was looking forward to last night, to just kind of gauge things between us. It was fine, nothing weird or awkward, but I also wanted to see if Sunday night/Monday morning was just a 'barn hook-up,' as they are appropriately called, or if he may have been looking for more.

When I talked to Richie on my way back home, he seemed VERY surprised that I had been to see Dante. He gave me the inside scoop of Dante's mind, and basically said not to get wrapped up in things, to just go along with it and have fun. That is a relief to hear, because while nothing may come of it, it's still good to know his frame of mind if/when anything continues. And since I'm still unsure of The Boy and our standing, I'm keeping my options open. Why shouldn't I? Isn't dating just the process of elimination? How am I supposed to know if what I am feeling is something real/deep, or just lust? My feelings are all jumbled up, not really knowing if I even want that committed relationship with The Boy anymore. Part of me does because we have become so close, sharing much, but part of me doesn't, thinking that if he doesn't, than why should I?! Damn my pride and stubborness. What is it they say about pride? Oh yeah...it 'goeth' before the fall? Who the hell says 'goeth' anymore anyways!

And with this all swirling around in my cranium, all that keeps popping up in my head was something my eighth grade teacher had said in my sex-ed class: 'You are supposed to date a lot. How are you going to know and come to understand what it is you want and are looking for in a partner in life if you don't go and date a lot of different people?' Now, granted, I know I'm not supposed to read in between the lines and see 'sleep with a lot of people.' That much I know, especially having gone through the catholic school system for 13 years (yeah, yikes!). But I do agree with the fact that I shouldn't enter each dating relationship like it's the end-all, be-all, and I think I am finally understanding that. So, thanks Mr. Brown! As creepy as I feel with that being only one of the few things that have stuck, you were really on to something...