A Meeting of Minds

When you try and be the adult about things when you realize nobody else will be, what does that make you? I always thought it made me smart, and pretty with-it!

Last night I had a talk, THE talk, with The Boy about where he and I are at, and what the hell we're doing. Or more like, I asked the question because he would never bring it up! He said he didn't want to put a label on 'us' and I said that was fine. But I asked him if he felt we were dating and he said 'yes.' I find this an interesting response since it's been about two months since we actually went OUT on a date, nor has he taken me to any parties/bbq's AS his date, so when I pointed this all out, he said he hadn't noticed...that he's just had a really busy summer but that he does try to see me when he can. That's all well and good, but the fact of the matter is that I want to be busy WITH him, and he with me. I feel so unincluded in his life, and no matter how much he reassures me that I'm not just the girl he sleeps with, its hard to feel otherwise when I am so unimportant to him and all that's going on in his life. He says he understands it, and I believe he does. His response was that he is happy 'dating' me (using his term) and the way things are, after so long of being unhappy (broken engagement just over a year ago...not on his part), and I understand that compLETELY!! And that he really just needs things to be the way they are now, a no-pressure situation, at least for a little while. I get that, too, and can completely understand, but at the same time, I'm not going to wait forever to feel like I'm a part of his life.

I actually feel pretty good about the conversation, because if anything, everything is now out there. He says we're good, and I know we are as far as he's concerned. I'm just not sure if I can still stand being left out of everything. It's hurtful after a while, and I'm afraid it will form a pattern. So, while I'm giving him his no-pressure time, I've come to realize that if he doesn't want a committed relationship, than there is nothing stopping me from still dating other people...which is exactly what I plan to do! I'm not selling myself short, by no means. If anything, this past weekend has definitely shown me that I should have a LOT more confidence in my dating abilities!

Tomorrow, I'm actually meeting Dante at Teller's for a drink while he's working. He bartends there only one night a week for extra cash (he's actually this amazing artist). It's a small, impromptu meeting, but it at least re-establishes our connection from the weekend, and he said that he, "would love to see me!" That definitely helps the self-esteem and puts a little spring in my step!!