betrayal in two contexts

Starting off, Admirer has a new pseudonym: Toast

So, Toast and I were talking one day about fidelity, or the lack there-of. Do we think it's in our nature to cheat on a person we might be romantically attached to, or even help another person cheat on their significant other if we were unattached. It was an interesting conversation. While we were both raised Catholic (and there-for both now Recovering Catholics), we have very different views about a lot of different moral and ethical issues. Fidelity being one of them.

For instance: While I might enjoy the looks and personality of a married man, I would never, EVER become involved with him. I know this for certain because of things in my past and the way those things have influenced and shaped me. Now Toast, on the other hand, has actually been involved in a relationship with a married woman. Married with kids. I'm not one to judge, certainly because I didn't know him then, but because of this experience in his life he now feels like he can dictate to me my own behavior. SO not appreciated.

One of Toast's best friends (we'll call High-Def) is married...for the third time. That right there would be enough of a "hands-off" for me, but if it weren't, he also has one child, with another on the way with Wife #3. Oh yeah, and apparently he isn't known for his fidelity. While Toast says he's never witnessed said acts of infidelity, he has his suspicions. I know High-Def and have been out with them a couple of times now, and I like him from what I know of him. He's funny, easy to talk to, and really nice! I don't feel uncomfortable around him in the slightest bit, and am fine with him as a person until he gives me a reason not to be.

But now because High-Def and I hit it off as what I feel is a good foundation of becoming friends, Toast thinks that something is going to happen between us. So incredibly off base. Actually, in contrast, I'm probably the safest female for High-Def to be hanging out with. But it still irks me that someone I thought who really understood me would make such a blanket judgement call on my personality. There's almost a feeling of betrayal.

I'm pretty sure that was never Toast's intention. It was probably something said more in jest than anything else, but how is he to know how close to home that topic strikes?! I want to talk to him about it because we both made a promise to each other to always be honest with one another, letting the other know when something is bothering us, but he's traveling for work and out of the state for the next few days...and I feel this is definitely an "in-person" conversation. And knowing myself, I am now going to dwell on this and stew about it until I see him next. RATS!