Keeping Busy

This was the email conversation I had today with one of my friends that kept me from going bat-shit crazy with hardly anything to do!

Tom: What’s for lunch today? I’m dying over here

Me: Sorry, I just got back from having lunch with a friend…

Tom: You suck

Me: Mayhap…but I’ve never gotten a complaint for it…

Tom: Dammit!!! I can’t do this today. Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: LoL! Wow! I think that’s a first… Did it make you chuckle, at the very least?! :)

Tom: Yes. Mostly chuckling at my lost opportunity. And the worst part is that you couldn’t go to HR because YOU started it…for once! AND you couldn’t kick me with your boots for the same reason.

Me: Indeed! :) Not that I would really ever go to HR anyways…it’s all just playful banter. Until someone feels harassed, anyways!

Tom: Has anyone felt harassed yet? (I should be so lucky)

Me: Not quite so much, no…sorry!

Tom: OK, can’t do this anymore. Have to focus. One last thought though…

What if I came down there and ________ off all your ______ and _______ you over ________ and ______’d your ________ and used ________ to probe _______ until you ________ with _________ and then stuck ________ in ________ so that you __________ ride and ruined _________ for all ________ forever!!. Well, at least until Vegas. :)

There. Feeling harassed yet? ;)

Me: HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was fantastic!!!

What would have been even better? If you did a mad-libs version with noun, verb, adverb and adjective directions! LoL! That would’ve been funny! ;)

Tom: Oh but there’s still tomorrow! ;) My personal favorite was the “______’d your” :)
Actually, the first version had all the words filled in, but then I couldn’t concentrate :)

Me: LOL! Nice! My personal favorite was the “ride and ruined _________” :) It’s probably best that you blanked it out then…cause then I may have felt harassed……aww, who am I kidding?!

Tom: Actually, I was more afraid that you’d write back and keep it going and then I’d be ruined for the rest of the day…and probably night.

Me: LoL! The thought did cross my mind, because it is in fact always residing in the gutter, but with my medicine-head feeling, I’m not so quick with that wit this week…hoping to be back on my A-Game for tomorrow night’s bar night!

Tom: Wear something short and tight because that always gets the juices flowing. Or just wear something short and tight because that’d be nice

Me: LoL! I’m so glad you’ve learned to be subtle!

Tom: Once a fucktard, always a fucktard

Me: Self-proclaimed, are we?! Hehehe!

Tom: From day one, I always told you that I am quite aware of who I am

Me: From day one, I have always taken that seriously!

Tom: Oh, and under that short tight skirt, wear a thong

Me: Ok, let me ask you something…in all the time that you’ve known me and spent with me…do I seem like an “other than a thong” kind of chick?

Tom: I’d have known that answer for sure if only you’d spent more time with me!!

Me: I thought you had work to do?! :P Stop emailing!

Tom: Can…not…re-sist…your pull…TOO….STRONG!!!!!!

... ...

Tom: What are the chances you’re jumping out of that cake you’re making for C’s bday tomorrow?

Me: Tiny cake, and not-so-tiny me…not very good chances…sorry

Tom: Oh well…worth a shot. Bring extra icing…because you never know

Me: The word “slather” comes to mind…

Tom: Hey, whatever bangs your shutters. Or better…hey, whatever binds your wrists!

Me: Mmmmm…hand-cuffs…

Tom: Forget about “are you bringing the boots to Vegas?” How about “are you bringing the cuffs to Vegas?”

Me: Probably not, but only because I’m not sure how I’d get them through airport security…

Tom: There’s no law against handcuffs in your checked luggage. Trust me! Worst comes to worst, you can always get a set out when you need

Me: I don't even want to know why I can trust that information! And yeah, you’ve said that about the boots…that there’s plenty of opportunity out there to buy what you’ve had to leave behind…but leaving the cuffs behind would feel like leaving a fallen soldier behind. It would feel wrong and dirty to not use them on the “maiden” voyage since I’ve had them for so long!

(haha! I wrote “maiden” w/a straight face!)

And it sort of just kept falling down-hill from there, in record-breaking speed!