Surprise, Surprise!!

So Wangie and I made it safe and sound to my sister's in P.A. and boy was everyone surprised. The weekend started off to a rough start with a flat tire, but hopefully it's smooth sailing from here...fingers crossed.

I'm still very nervous about meeting Jeff's entire family in one straight shot...kind of like baptism by fire, but I do truly believe that I owe it to my sister and myself and family to do this and give it a chance if Jeff is really going to be a part of this family. As I sit here in the living room, watching my dad help Jeff set up his train set, it takes me back to when I used to do the very same thing with my brother and dad countless Christmas' for years. It has helped me see how my parents now really feel about him being a part of my sister's life and now as a part of this family.

So, tomorrow starts the festivities, and I am confident that Wangie, with her eternal fount of optimism, will help me get through the weekend. And even if things don't go so smoothly with the rest of the family, at least I now know that I am A-OK with Jeff being a part of the family. I can't imagine him NOT being at the family holidays/events. So, here's to starting off my New Year's resolution on the right foot and doing something solely for the sake of my sister, my very best friend in the whole world who I would do anything and everything for.

Have a great weekend, and I'll blog you next year! :)

Happy New Year!

New Year's Plans

I've finally made up my mind regarding New Year's Eve. I had been holding out, hoping for a boy to ask me out for the evening. A great concept, yes, but I've been letting all these other plans slip past me in the meantime. I've also just been so 'blah' in general about any plans. And in finally deciding to kick the habit of The Boy, in very much the same way, I'm not waiting on any guy for this evening. It's time to do for myself what I want to make me happy.

So, off to Pennsylvania!

Sounds exciting, huh?! Well, it should be. My sister lives in PA and is going to be throwing this kick-ass New Year's Eve party. My parent's are going, and offered to pick me up on the way. Because of my wishy-washy attitude, I told them not to worry about it.

Now, I'm all about it, BUT, the fun part is that I'm heading out with Wangie and we're not telling anyone...SURPRISE!! I'm so psyched, it's going to be a great time! Plus, up unitl now, I've been so reluctant to meet any of my sister's boyfriends family, and I want to change that. It's pretty obvious at this point that they're in it for the long haul, so I might as well just attack it like a band-aid.

It's not that I don't like Jeff. I do. He's a great guy, and is nice, but with it being my sister, I'm always going to think that nobody is good enough for her. So, I keep this feeling like if I don't meet his family, then it's not real. Silly, yes, and not exactly nice on my part. My parents and brother have all met his family, so it's just down to me. And part of my 'resolution' for the new year of 2007 is to make more of an effort! So, I'm kicking it off with attending the party, meeting his family, and just having an overall good time...hopefully! And I'll have Wangie with me as a support base, so it's all good! And she's pretty excited to see my sister and her new house, too!

Kickin' the Habbit

It's been 10 days since I talked to The Boy. I have finally decided that he is not good for my morale and mental health, so I am done. Really, this time I am serious. I have come to realize that I rely on my emotions regarding him way to much to dictate my daily moods, like an addiction. I feel like I need his attention to make myself feel better, which is completely ridiculous.

For one, I have other people in my life (friends and family) that give me positive attention for my self-esteem. And two, as my good friend Christina pointed out, if I am also getting attention from another guy that is actually interested in me and spending time with me, then why should I waste energy and emotions on someone who isn't?!

The obvious answer is often the simplest one.

Mid-Christmas

Every year for the past three or four years, a group of my girlfriends and I celebrate Mid-Christmas. It started as a tradition because our one friend Zina and her sisters don't celebrate Christmas until the feast of the Three Kings as is their Russian Orthodox holiday. So, we started having a dinner party somewhere in between the December 25th and January 6th. Last night was our Mid-Christmas dinner. It was a little small this year, only being seven of us, but it was really nice to share great food and even better company. Being after the initial craze of the holiday, Mid-Christmas always gives you a chance to catch your breath and slow down a little, but still enjoy the Christmas season. It was so great to see Z and Tanya, and be there with Allison and Wangie. Laura even showed up, which always promises some great stories and humor, and Z and Tanya's middle sister Vika even stopped by after work!

When Allison and I finally got back home around 11:30pm, we finally exchanged presents between the two of us. Since we've been roommates, we go a little extra with each other and fill a stocking for the other person! It's good fun! Since she's been doing these photo projects for her family, I thought that maybe she should do something for herself, too, and I found this great frame for her. I also found a really cool t-shirt that was designed by an artist, and it's a fun design. Then I found her these note cards that have the Bitter with Baggage photos on them, which is one of her favorite books of all time. So, again, I was right on with the gift giving. And again, I got something from her that I've been wanting and was SO excited to get! I finally got my cordless drill and tool set!!!

I know what you might be thinking. A girl wants a power tool?! Well, HELL YEAH!! Why not?! Oh, I was so excited. And the tool set comes with a bunch of fun stuff like a ratchet set and alan keys, and those mini screw drivers that are great for fixing eye glasses! She totally rocks for remembering that I wanted that stuff!!! And on top of that, she filled my stocking with these mini-body soaps that I love, and these fun eye glitter stuff. I know, it's quite the opposite spectrum of power tools, but a girl can look and smell pretty while she's drilling holes in the wall, can't she?

Oh yeah, it's been a good Christmas!

Holiday Highlights

+ Helping my good friend AJ do his Christmas shopping for his girlfriend and being on the "in" of the up-and-coming diamonds she's soon to receive!!

+ Spending Saturday night with The Artist, meeting his closest friends, dancing all night long, and not getting home until 4:30am! ;)

+ Being called a "Dirty Late Stay-Out" by my dad the next day! :) All in good humor

+ Spending Christmas Eve with Grammy and a couple of other relatives. It was a great, quiet, relaxing intimate evening. Plus, I got to see Grammy's new house, and it's really nice!

+ Making it to my aunt's and uncle's on Christmas day, where the entire family made it (minus my brother). I got to see the new baby of the family, catch up with cousins I haven't seen in a while, and just enjoy the day.

+ Watching my sister's boyfriend revert to childhood when he saw my dad's model trains!

+ Sleeping in until 10am on the 26th!

+ Doug and Joy flew into Islip airport and made it home around 4pm. The gang's all here!

+ Good food, good conversations, good company!

+ Giving everyone their gifts and having them love them all!!! I totally nailed it this year, and it was so much fun to watch them open the gifts!

+ I got the one and only thing I really wanted this year, but never thought I would get in a million years. My parents SO rock! Now I have to do some major cleaning to find room for it. When I opened the box, I actually cried I was so happy. I have been going through withdrawal ever since I moved out of my parent's house. Playing had always been a therapy for me, and then I started writing my own music, and that was amazing! But, it's been about two years since I really spent any quality time on the piano, so this is a true blessing!

A Favorite

I will say, though, that this has become my favorite Christmas song.

I've been listening to it on repeat at work and am sure that the people in cubicles around me are ready to string me up by garland!

Enjoy!

Baking Fiasco!

I've had a difficult time getting into the Christmas Spirit this year. It's the first year ever that I didn't put up a tree or decorate for the season. Plus, there haven't been any parties (sans one bar night). My sister, who's usually calling me every day for a week or two before a holiday, hasn't been calling. And my brother is in St. Louis for Christmas, too. Everything feels off and unsettled.

Yesterday, I received my first present of the holiday. Someone at work who I've been becoming friends with bought me a CD of Christmas music. It was sweet because he remembered me saying how I have no holiday music, and he thought it would be funny to buy me a CD with Run-D-M-C's "Christmas in Hollis" on it since I live two towns away from Hollis, Queens. Upon receipt of the gift, I immediately uploaded it into my computer and listened all day long, trying to force the spirit of Christmas into my being...sadly, no luck.

Late afternoon, my mom calls and asks if I can bake my infamous Christmas cookies to bring to my grandmother's house on Christmas Eve. This recipe is one that I've been baking for years, and I mean YEARS! I know it backwards and forwards, and this year I even got my own cookie press which I have been so excited to break out and use. So, I go home last night, with every intention and belief that if I bake Christmas Cookies, for sure that would put me in the spirit of things...

...not so much.

I screwed up the recipe adding way too much of one ingredient, and the cookie press didn't work so well. So, now I have all these deformed Christmas cookies that look like blobs of nothing instead of trees and wreaths. I nearly broke down and cried when it wasn't working, resolved that nothing is going right this year.

I know it's been a rough year for me, but I also know how lucky I am to have the friends and family I have, to be on the path to getting healthy again, to have a job even if I don't enjoy it, and to be able to live a self-sustaining life. I know all these things in my heart of hearts, and yet still no dice on being merry, cheery and happy for the holidays. I'm hoping that heading out to my parent's tomorrow, where the house is all decked out and the tree is decorated, will jump-start my merriness and all that.

I am optimistic, and just have to get through one last boring day at work before I can officially start my holiday weekend!

For Fear of Nothing

I had nothing to fear apparently, because neither of the boys showed up (aside from an ex, which was a whole other side of awkward). New Boy at least texted me and let me know that he was still stuck at work until about 10:30pm. He felt horrible and promised he'd make it up to me. I told him that I understand (which I do...work for different people has different demands) and not to worry 'cause I'd let him. ;)

I never even heard from the other one...he is totally kicked to the curb! True, I am not even sure if I wanted him there or not, but at this point it's the principle of the matter. You tell me you're going to be there, and then not call or write, or anything, to let me know you're not coming? *sigh* More of the same, I guess. Let this be my lesson for the end of the year.

New Year's resolution?: No longer am I going to keep putting myself out there emotionally if I don't see any effort from ANY guy I may be dating. That's it, I'm through feeling like shit, and like I don't deserve any better...so, I'm done.

Finite!

Status Check

It's just after 4pm EST, and I haven't heard from The Boy all day. I have no way of knowing if he is attending tonight's festivities, and I'm afraid to even ask for fear of reminding him.

I think I'm just going to have to wait it out and hope for the best!

This Sh*t Only Happens to Me!

There's a big holiday bar-night going down tomorrow night in the East Village. The event has been forwarded and forwarded, and I can only imagine the crazy-fun that's going to go on. Last week, I had invited The Boy. He never comes to any of the bar nights I invite him to, but still I continue to try and include him in my life with my friends even though he does not reciprocate. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I have no idea! Glutton for emotional punishment, maybe?!

By yesterday, The Boy's birthday, I still hadn't heard from him on whether he was going to attend tomorrow evening's festivities or not. He's already flaking on me for a basketball game on Friday, and I foolishly figured with his birthday this week and the upcoming holiday, there is NO WAY he'll be coming out Wednesday night...so I invite the new guy! Why not?! Why shouldn't I have a date?!

New Guy is thrilled to be invited, and can't wait to see me. Even knowing he'll be putting in a twelve hour work day he tells me he'll definitely be there! I'm all excited, ecstatic to have a person just as excited to see 'lil old me! What could possibly be better?!

The Boy tells me that he'll most likely be there!

Crap!

I've stacked the odds and look where it gets me. Should be one helluva party!

Catch Up!

Last Thursday and Friday, I was in Maryland in the company offices and warehouse. It was a cool trip, but basically only because I didn't do anything. My flight was delayed leaving NY by 6 1/2 hours to begin with, so by the time we got to the offices, they were closing. I got to meet-and-greet for a little bit, and then went to dinner. I was checked into my hotel room and asleep by 10pm. It's exhausting sitting on a plane all day with nothing to do but read your book! Then Friday, there was about 2 hours of work, more eating (brunch) and then back off to the airport to catch an afternoon flight! So, not much of anything but the traveling part.

On the car rides to and from the airport, I was a little concerned about having enough 'ok' conversation with my boss, but I shouldn't have been worried though. It was all good. We actually talked quite a bit about my position and how I was bored. She apologized for not really including me in a lot of what was going on, and for holding me back. In trying to be as impartial as possible, I just kind of sat there and did a lot of nodding. She had me learn two new responsibilities, and promised to involve me more in special projects. So, between that, the lay-offs, and the new news of her pregnancy, work for me can get very interesting come the new year!

Saturday, I made it up to Connecticut for a memorial powwow for a friend of mine that died in a car accident two years ago. It was a sad reason for everyone to get together, but it was a great powwow, and really great to see old friends. Plus, I stayed over Greg and Tara's and got to check out their new house, and it is beautiful. And on top of all of that, they decided that, if possible, they want me to marry them! So, I have to get ordained so I can be an official minister and perform the legal marriage! How much does that rock?! Luckily, the Internet is a wondrous place, and it'll only cost me $19.99 (+ tax) to become a recognized minister in all 50 states!

Side story: Tara is perhaps one of my oldest friends...I grew up with her, living only two houses down on the same side of the street. Yup...I didn't even have to cross the street to go and play! Her, her sister and I always used to get into so much mischief growing up, it was fantastic. Greg is one of my closest, dearest friends, and the fact that he lives in CT has never been an issue. I met him through my Native American dancing stuff, and became thick as thieves from day one. There isn't anything in the world I can't tell him. I was so fortunate to introduce these two wonderful people two and a half years ago at my college graduation party. Greg came down for the weekend and partied with all of us all weekend long, and they just clicked from the get-go! So, two and a half years later, Tara moved up to CT, they bought a house together, and things are great! And they always said I get to hold a special place in their wedding because I'm the one that set them up! How much more special can you get than marrying two of your best friends together?!

That pretty much made my weekend, month and year!

Living "Sex in the City"

The date actually happened last night! Woohoo! I met him at Belmont Lounge for drinks at 8:00pm. It was a cool place I'd never been to, just outside of Union Square. It had a great atmosphere with (to quote a favorite movie) "Lots of dark corners for doing dark deeds!"

But seriously, it was really quite a nice evening. The conversation was light and fun, and never lacking. Humor and mischief were always present. Light touching never too scandalous. And the constant eye-contact was almost unnerving, but in a good way. He always looked so far into my eyes when he talked to me that it almost felt like he wanted to just dive in...it was wonderful!
In having such a great time though, I feel like I've come to find myself at a crossroads of sorts. The Boy and I are still seeing each other as well. I have made no commitment or agreement to be exclusive, and while I know it is WAY too soon to know if this new guy and I are going anywhere, I'm still not sure where that leaves me. I date because I believe it is healthy as well as fun. How are you ever going to find Mr. Right if you're not out there looking? But what happens when you become physical with more than one guy you may be dating at the same time? Does it become a conflict of interest? The Boy is supposed to come over tonight to hang out, watch a movie, whatever, and I find myself looking forward to seeing him with no regrets, remorse, or reservations about last night either. I look forward to seeing The Boy because I really do enjoy his company and the repor we have...it's not only the physical anymore. Maybe I'm fooling myself and seeing things that aren't there, but at least I know that I have come to a new level of feelings regarding him.

So, why am I still looking to date? Simply because I can, I suppose. I'm not completely sure of his feelings towards me, and since he's never asked me to be serious with him and only him, I won't be. It's kind of the feeling of "it's not wrong until you get caught" I guess. I can't say as I am entirely sure, but there is one thing I keep hearing from a lot of friends: That I'm still young, and I should be enjoying my time while I am young. So I guess, for once, I'm actually listening and heeding my friend's advice! And for the first time in a while I don't find myself depressed, or wondering if I'm ever going to find my 'true love.' I truly am just being young, single, and admired by boys, and it's wonderful!

I Don't Have Anything Better To Do

Thanks to a friend that feels the same way, I've just decided to post one of these ridiculous surveys you see all over emails and MySpace-type websites!

__General__
1. Name: Carolyn
2. Your nickname: In reference to my last name, usually "Purv"
3. birthday: September 1st
5. Place of Birth: West Islip, Long Island
6. Male or Female: Female
7. Highest Grade Accomplished: Undergraduate
8. School: Hofstra University
9. Occupation: Operations/Manufacturing; Publishing
10. Residence: Queens, New York
11. Screen Name: princesshuminbr

__Your Appearance___
12. Hair Color: Reddish/Brown (kind of my natural color)
13. Hair Length: short, just to my earlobes
14. Height: 5'9"
15. Braces?: Nope
16. Glasses?: For driving and distances
17. Piercings: Four
18. Tattoos: one
19. Righty or Lefty: Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___
20. First Award: A "Helping Hands" Award in 1st grade
21. First Sport You Joined: track
22. first pet: Goldie, the goldfish
23. First Real Vacation: Montego Bay, Jamaica
24. First Concert: Third Eye Blind and the Goo Goo Dolls
25. First Love: Chris, the kid down the block...he let me share his sand box...how could I not?

___ Favorites___
26. Movie: This month, it's "Love Actually"
27. TV Show: Veronica Mars
28. Color: Purple
29. Rapper: I don't do rap
30. Song: this week, it's "Powerless" by Nelly Furtado
31. Candy: Sour Patch Kids
32. Sport To Play: Softball/Badminton
33. Sport To Watch: Hockey or Lacrosse
34. favorite brand to wear: Ann Taylor
35. Store: I do online shopping at the "O"
36. School Subject: Math...yes, I'm a dork
37. Animal: hummingbirds
38. Book: Currently? "Summer Knight: Book 4 of the Dresden Files" by Jim Butcher
39. Magazine: Cosmo...and it is totally for all the sex tips!

___Currently___
40. Eating: Swedish Fish
41. Drinking: Water
42. Typing?: Just this!
43. Online?: blogger.com and my instant messenger
44. Listening To: Tori Amos
45. Thinking About: my date later
46. Wanting To: Move to Seattle
47. Watching: My computer screen and a fly
48. Wearing: A sexy ass-hugging skirt and slimming black top

___Your Future___
49. Want Kids?: Not sure
50. Want to be Married?: Maybe, if there's a guy worth marrying out there
51. Careers in Mind: Owning my own florist or going back to law school

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
52. Cute or Sexy: Sexy
53. Lips or Eyes: that's a tough toss-up...I do enjoy kissing...a lot. I'd have to go with lips
54. Short or Tall: the taller the better
55. Easygoing or serious: A sublime mixture of both
56. Romantic or Spontaneous: both are necessary
57. Fatty or Skinny: Neither extreme is appealing.
58. Sensitive or Loud: again with the extremes!
59. Hook-up or Relationship: I'm at a point where a hook-up isn't bad, but a relationship would be nice
59. Sweet or Caring: Same thing, and it's wonderful
60. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Where's the fun in being hesitant?

___Have you ever______
61. Kissed a Stranger: Yes
62. had Alcohol:Do fish swim??
63. Smoked: nope, never
64. Ran Away From Home: when I was 9...I got as far as the end of the block and then realized I wasn't allowed to cross the Main Street by myself, so I went home.
65. broken a Bone: Yeah, my leg...in two places
66. Got an X-ray: refer to the broken bone question...
67. Broken Someones Heart: probably
68. Broke Up With Someone: Yes
69. Turned Someone Down: yes
70. Cried When Someone Died: Yes
71. Cried At School: yes

___Do You Believe In___
72. God: I believe in some form of a higher power
73. Miracles: Yes
74. Love At First sight: Sure do
75. Ghosts: Yes
76. Aliens: I believe in some form of life somewhere else in the universe
77. Soul Mates: Yes
78. Heaven: Yes
79. Hell: Sure do...I'm driving the bus...All Aboard!
80. Kissing on The First Date: Sure, why not?! Depends on the type of kiss
81. Horoscopes: It's more for fun.

Playing it Cool

It's official...I've got a date tonight! I must confess I'm a little nervous. It's been a while since I've been on a 'real' date with a guy other than my dad. The last time I was supposed to have a date, The Artist cancelled on me. I'm fairly certain that won't happen this time, due to the circumstances in which we parted Saturday night. But because of those circumstances, I have butterflies! How exciting to be feeling so giddy!! I think I may need a drink to calm myself before I go meet him! Gotta play it cool, ya know?!

I'm meeting him for drinks after he gets off from work sometime around 8pm. Details to follow tomorrow!

A Party to Remember

In trying to be discreet, all I can say is that Tom's 30th Birthday party was awesome! I met some really fantastic people, and got reacquainted with some folks I hadn't seen in a while. Also, I'll never look at one of those photo-booths the same way again! And, as a result, I think I have a date tomorrow night!

Mundane Silliness

Hey! Don't "Hassel the Hoff!!"

And now on to something completely different!

And who said Llamas were worthless?! They're cute, and now have a purpose!

Everything

Here are the lyrics to a song that a dear friend just reminded me of. She quoted them to me today because of the emotional storm I am going through right now. She's the best, and even though remembering this song sent me into a crying jag, it was very much needed, greatly appreciated, and incredibly comforting.

Thank you, Moosie!

I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone who's as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone who's as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

Everything; Alanis Morissette: "So-Called Chaos"

High Anxiety

MySpace. The online, social anomaly that some view as a great way to network, a great way to meet new people, or as my roommate would call it: the new-age meat market! I admit that I have succumbed to joining this online network of friends. It is an easy way for me to keep in touch with friend I have all over the world! I was just telling someone last night that MySpace is good if the right intention is there.

Yesterday, while killing some time at work after hours, I was on MySpace writing some emails to friends. For the heck of it, I tried searching out some of my friends from college, high school and grade school...then I thought to see if Matt still had his page and still kept up with it. I know, I'm glutton for emotional punishment, but with it being the holiday season, it's difficult not to think about those you love, even though they are no longer in your life.

So, what to my eyes did I find? Yes, he still maintains his page, and is on quite frequently. God, he looked so good and my heart started to beat quicker, like I was a voyeur and enjoying the little snippet of what's new in his life. But then what I was seeing really sunk in...pictures and comments of him and the apparent love of his life. And not just of him and this love of his life, but the two of them with all of his friends, too! Comments of the "cutest couple ever." If I thought my heart was racing before, this sure did a number on me, and then I started having trouble breathing.

I don't think I had ever felt so many emotions raging inside of me at the same time. Heart- break, anger, jealousy, happiness, disgust, loss, rage, resentment, and completely sick to my stomach. I was so sure I was having an anxiety attack.

Well, that's what you get when you go looking for trouble. You learn how disappointed in yourself you are, how far you really haven't come, and you wonder why you're not deserving of the same kind of happiness. I guess it's back to square-one.

Boggle

This morning, I was told by Wangie that I should be a writer! I laughed to myself at first because the only things I've ever written are school assigned papers and blogs. True, I was on my High School newspaper, but as an editor, not a journalist. I don't fancy myself a writer of anything really worth reading, hence the laughing. I blog because I need an outlet, not because I feel that posting my life experiences is going to provide some profound revelation to others.

She disagrees.

It actually got me to thinking, and remembering that Wangie isn't the first person to say this to me. My friend Beth calls me the Wordsmith, and my sister's boyfriend swears I should be writing those mushy Hallmark cards, and others come to me for advice and words of wisdom and encouragement.

It's a nice feeling, knowing that my friends can rely on me to help them through some tough times, to know that I've helped them make a decision that has put them on the right path. But it also boggles my mind that when it comes to myself, I'm clueless! I understand why I am, having the blinders on to my own life and circumstances. One isn't exactly impartial when it comes to 'self,' knowing all of the external things that effect you. But 'knowing' doesn't always make it easy to take those same blinders off. I wonder if Ann Landers has the same problem?!

Incredulous, Part III

My last email to the German Lady was Thursday...I haven't heard from her since, so I am taking that as a sign that it just wasn't meant to be. And you know what? I'm ok with that because it means that the apartment that is meant for me is still out there. I take my friend Rockstar as an example. When she first moved to New York, she had to work through blood, sweat and tears to just be able to afford an apartment in NYC. Now, she's living in a great place in Mid-town that she loves! It had taken her a while to get there, but she is there and always says how it was worth it all! So, I truly believe that I, too, will "get there" when I'm meant to, whether its out of some cosmic luck, or whether I work my ass for it, too!

Other than that, the weekend was very eventful. Friday night, I headed to Long Island to go to a jewelry party with my mom. I wasn't expecting to have a good time because it was with all of these people my mom works with and their friends. I was really just going to keep my mom company and do some recon work and see if a jewelry party is something I could do, too with all fo the stuff I make. I ended up having a great time, and buying some fabulous pieces of custom-made, glass-fused jewelry. AND, the recon was great because a jewelry party is totally something I could do! So, that was exciting.

Saturday, Moni and Wangie came over for dinner. I cooked a fabu meal including cheese and crakers and baked clams for an appetizer, and then the main meal was stuffed salmon, sauteed fresh green beans and an awesome salad! Not to mention the two bottles of wine! Afterward, the three of us went out to the bar with the roommate for her birthday. At first, I didn't want to go, with all that has been going on, but it seemed easier to go rather than deal with whatever she'd dish out later. It's a good thing I did go. We all ended up having a great time. Moni met a guy, and the roommate and I actually came to a reconciliation! True, we were both hammered, but we both also understand that in our drunken states, we could be completely honest with each other. It was a good thing. We didn't leave the bar until 3am. Moni and Wangie crashed at our place, and we all went to the diner the next morning when we were able to get our hung-over asses moving by noon!

I think I am still going to be looking for my own apartment, even though things are cool now at home. I think I am really just ready for my own space, but at least now it's not out of angst, which makes me feel a whole lot better!