Banged and Bruised

I would say this past weekend was one of the most well-rounded weekends I’ve had in a while. I worked (but it was fun), I played (which was definitely fun), and I injured myself (with mortification involved, of course)!

On Sunday I had plans with Wangie, Verne and Roommie to go see the Gazillion Bubble Show; an off-Broadway production of this guy from Vietnam basically blowing bubbles for an hour and a half…it was cool, but definitely sounded way better than it actually was. I wouldn’t have minded if it hadn’t been blatantly obvious that we were the only adults there without children of our own…unless you count Verne, who tends to be child-like but only in the best of ways!

With the show being at 3pm, I figured I would be able to sleep in nice and late after working the mad-house wine shop Friday night into Saturday. But Verne had other ideas.

Back when we bought the tickets, we had no way of knowing the Rangers were actually going to make the play-offs, much less win their first round! Verne, being a die-hard Rangers fan, was absolutely devastated that we were going to be in the Bubble Show while the home game was going on. As a solution to try and cheer him up, I suggested we go to a bar for the 2pm face-off and watch at least the first period.

But why just go to watch the first period when you can participate in one of the best PR ploys out there?!

The Rangers' Rally Bus!

Basically, the NY Ranger’s rent out two NY City Sightseeing tour buses, load them up with Ranger’s fans (or whoever just happens to be outside MSG at the moment), and drives around Midtown for an hour and half two hours before game-time!

F*cking Brilliant!

And SO much fun! Verne had done it during the first round and ended up winning himself tickets to the two, sold-out home games. So, when the Rangers made it to round 2, I knew he would find himself back on that bus. And sure enough, he was able to get me to schlep my ass into the city early so we could get online to ride the Rally Bus!

Everyone else on the bus thought we had tickets to the game because he and I were by-far the loudest screamers on the bus.

I think this would be a good time to mention that I’m an Islander’s fan!

But it didn’t matter, because I’m a Hockey Fan first. AND, the Rangers' promoter on our bus (yum!) doesn’t even work for the Rangers…he works for the PR company. And, as it turns out, is a Capitals Fan…ouch! Season’s certainly over for you, bub!

So, it was a great big time, and a lot of fun. I think I have totally shell-shocked Wangie seeing as she was with us, but stayed seated and quiet for the entire time (impressive).

Afterwards, Roommie met up with the three of us to head to a pub for lunch and the first period of the game. When we left for the show, the score was still 0-0. After the show, Verne figured that we could still probably catch the tail-end of the 3rd period, so off to the ESPN Zone we went. When we got there, it was almost the end of the 3rd period and the score was 1-1. Doh! We waited and watched the two teams go into Over Time, Yay! And then we watched the game go into a 2nd Over Time!

Oh, for crying out loud!

There were at least 3 power-plays between the two teams and still neither team could pull it together.

I will say, though, that watching that game was some of the most beautiful skating on ice that I have seen in a while. It was a clean game for the most part, all players realizing what a power-play could mean.

So up until this point, the day has been fantastic! Fantabulous, actually! Great fun on a bus, great fun in a pub, great fun in a theatre, great fun at ESPN Zone!

After the Rangers score the winning goal, and we do a bunch of high-fives and hugs (I love camaraderie), Verne has the idea to head back to MSG and see if there was anything going on to support the team, all while heckling Buffalo fans along the way!

It wasn’t until we decided to go and catch our train home that I became a complete and utter spaz! I blame the craze of all those fans, and the possibility of spilled beer and food, but I know better…

…as I was walking down the steps into Penn Station, I feel air beneath my next step and down I go…

…and down, and down, and down…

So I guess it’s a good thing my knees, shins and ankles break my fall down about 12 steps!

Slick!

Wangie is off like lighting heading to the D.R. to buy what I can only imagine is their entire first-aid inventory, while Roommie is running to get me some water while yelling back over her shoulder to Verne, “Don’t let her pass-out!!”

The look on Verne’s face at that comment alone was enough to snap me out of the shock I could feel myself slipping into, except now I was laughing so hard, he thought I was in shock anyways. Maybe I was, I don’t know. But I do know that Penn Station is now the proud owner of about 3 layers of my epidermis! Ick!

And of course my first thought?! Am I going to be able to play softball on Wednesday!

Where are my priorities?!

Work!

Four weeks into my new part time job, and I’m still having the fun I hoped and anticipated to be having. My day to work is Saturday, but this past week I had worked Friday night as well to help with a wine tasting we hosted. I have only been a guest at the tasting’s before so I never really understood how much work and energy was needed for these darned things. I got there at 6:30pm since the tasting started at 7pm and would run until 9pm.

It was great!

There were SO many people (83…I know because I had to hand-wash each and every glass the following morning) it was incredible. So many faces I knew and didn’t know and everyone was all so nice and chatty...true, maybe that was all the wine flowing, but it was all in good fun and frivolity. I basically kept the room circulating, helping to answer any wine aficionado questions I actually knew the answers to (woo-hoo), and rang up 98% of the sales for the evening. It’s been a long while since I have worked that hard and long for the fun of it and have felt satisfied at the end of a day-well-done!

Four hours and $5,000 + in sales later, I found myself at my boss’s house with his wife and best friend enjoying a nice glass of Burgundy. Aaahhhhh!!

It was so much fun with all of the high-energy I was so used to back in the floral industry; I think I have found a new love! My boss and my co-worker were both watching me throughout the evening like I was nuts. They know that I worked in flowers and directly with customers for all those years, but I don’t think they actually believed me when I said I thrive on that kind of work environment. Working those 24-36 hour days around the holidays were always the most fun for me. The stress! The craze! AWESOME! I would much rather be going crazy trying to ring up 5 sales at once than be bored silly all day long.

So on my fourth Saturday working, much of the day involved clean-up from last night, but I didn’t even mind that so much. It’s all part of the job, and I’m OK with that. It comes with the territory. But the exciting part came when my boss imparted some information about the company that nobody else was aware of yet, and then went on to discuss the possibilities for me and my career with the company in the wine industry should I decide that this could be a real future for me.

Hmmm…let me think about that…

Working in the environment with direct customer contact again…check!
Working with a product that I love and want to learn more about…check!
Working for a boss that appreciates me and will let me take on the responsibility I have earned and want…check!

I think this is a no-brainer! Wine World, here I come!

Although there is the worry that I won’t be making a salary with health benefits like I’m used to, and therefore can’t afford to be out on my own like my goal intends. I addressed my concerns with my boss saying that I would love to be a part of the growing company as long as I can afford to. His response was that he would have to make sure that I can afford to!

I don’t think one gets more encouragement from a boss than that!

And By the Way?!

STILL loving the fact that I can access internet with a wireless modem w/o paying for it!

Sa-Weet!

The Days of Yore?!

Wednesday night I had dinner with my brother and his girlfriend. It was kind of funny to me when we were first trying to schedule a night. I emailed them on a Monday about dinner that Thursday, thinking that would be plenty of time to check schedules and get back to me…he got back to me the next morning with a whole huge email (about 4 paragraphs compared to my one-liner) with their schedules for the next week and a half, saying that the following week’s Wednesday was best.

It really made me realize: Shnikey’s! When did life get so crazy?!

Here we are, all living and working in NYC, and we can’t even schedule a dinner!!

The funny part to me was that Doug’s schedule was so crazy and he’s not even working at the moment! Now I know why we never really did see him while he had a job and worked for “the man!”

I know I’ve talked about Doug a few times before, about how a crazy-talented artist he is and my tattoo he designed for me. The demands of a career in his industry are many, taking up many precious hours of the day (often 12-15), and those days don’t run on a normal 5 work-day week…they run until the job is done!

He has said many times over the course of the years that we (the family) don’t understand these demands. In all fairness, he hasn’t said this in a while, but it was true back in the day. It was like growing pains, getting used to the idea that we might only hear from him once a week (on a good week). We grew up as a tight-knit family, and time spent with one another was, and is, always treasured and valued, almost selfishly so…and that hasn’t changed. If anything, the older we get, and more we grow up and apart, that time spent is even rarer a currency in this crazy life we live.

To understand a little bit of the family dynamic, you need to understand a few minor details:
I’m the youngest of three. With there being 5 years between me and my older sister, my brother is in the middle, 2 years my senior.

1. My mom was fit to be tied when I was a baby because I was walking (read=running) and talking by 9 months, trying to always catch up with my older siblings.

2. My brother and sister were always fit to be tied trying to run faster so I couldn’t catch up with them, ‘cause seriously, who wants a tag-along unless it’s a cookie?!

3. I was a more fascinating play-thing to my brother than his legos for a while.

While my sister was off doing Big Sister things, trying not to pay attention to the fact that my brother and I were near killing each other in the living room, we were infact trying to kill each other in the living room (all make-believe, of course)!

So now-a-days, when we’re supposed to be all grown-up and stuff (still really waiting for that to happen), we try hard to stay in touch and see each other when we can. For a while last fall, our relationship was a little rocky and not as solid as I would have liked, but we were both going through a lot of crap as life tends to throw your way once in a while, understandably. But thankfully, we’re good now because really in the end, there is nobody’s opinion that really means more to me than my brother’s. Sometimes, because of the person he is, and the way he has, I find myself wanting to be him when I grow up! And then I remember all the times we used to play WWF (yes, it was still called WWF back in the day) in the living room, with him trying to convince me that “this time I could really take him!”

One other important thing to note is that my brother used to be pudgy (to put it nicely) before he hit his growth-spurt. He was, quite literally, at least twice my size. There was no WAY in hell I was ever going to take his ass down, but his false sense of encouragement taught me one thing:

I was one gullible mo-fo!

Good thing that has changed...ssssuuuuurrreeee!

But I love him dearly for it because while he was showering me with attention, even if it was for his own amusement, it was still time he spent with me instead of the other boys on the block! He will always be the Lucy to my Charlie Brown, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Guess What I'm Doing...

…writing this from my brand-spanking-new laptop! WHILE STEALING INTERNET!!!!!! (god bless wireless connections!) That’s right, folks, it arrived today. Haven’t worked out all of the kinks yet (i.e. wireless Internet and VNP access, whatever the hell that is), but I don’t care because it’s finally in my possession and it’s SHINY!!! Oh Sweet Dell, how I love thee! Let me count the ways!!

Overall it was a great day at work. I started working on a major inventory review project that is going to involve another major project two months from now dealing with the 2008 budget! Shwanky! So, not only am I NOT bored at work anymore, the things I’m doing actually have an important impact in the company as a whole! Woot, Woot! Look at me and my bad self, being all important! Boo-Yah!

Also, my boss (back from being on strict bed-rest for almost two weeks) catches me up on things that she is going over with her boss (the department director), and things she needs to catch him up on before she goes on maternity leave…which could seriously happen any day, that woman is about to POP! She continues to tell me that not only will she be working from home on Friday’s (as is her norm), she now has approval for working from home on Thursday’s as well! This is both good and bad for me, but I’ll adapt and work it all out.

AND she’s finally getting to the point where she’s relinquishing some responsibilities for the sole fact that she realizes I’m not going to be able to wait on her ass for three months to approve print runs and reprint requests (completely unrealistic, people), and that she hired me for my inventory forecasting/planning experience so it’s about time for her to let me step up my game and actually do what she hired me to do.

Then, to round off a great day, she informs me that not only will I be traveling to our sister company in Chicago in June, back to our warehouse in MD in July, but that she also wants me to take a trip to one of our major vendors in Lancaster, PA. Woo-Hoo! Traveling! Hence the laptop! I’m pretty psyched about it. The only downer may be if I miss any softball games during the travel periods, because that would really stink. But then again, my company is willing to send me on three, all expenses paid trips to meet and greet! Fun times, fun times!

I'm Sensing a Theme...

Gripe #2 for the week: my beloved Grandmother (Grammy) is a hypocrite!

OK, I know that sounds like I'm coming on a little strong, but I couldn't be more disappointed in Grammy. My whole entire life I have admired her for her compassion, loyalty, sense of fairness and strength in all things necessary. I love her dearly, and is one of the few I really looked up to. I almost want to shake my fists in the air and scream, "what is the world coming to?!"

Preamble: My family's religious background is Roman Catholic, which I have stated before. My grandparents, since the time I can remember, went to Mass every day and said all of the prayers they were supposed to. Their faith was strong and true, believing that everything was meant has God had planned. Even when my grandfather was dying horribly in the hospital, Grammy never missed a service at the hospital chapel. Her faith became even stronger, and while it wasn't something I shared with her, I still greatly admired her for it.

In my family, there's a ridiculous unspoken rule that if something is going on in your life that wavers from the Catholic theology, you don't tell Grammy. When my brother stopped going to Mass, my mother never mentioned it to Grammy. Actually, I was the one that let it slip, not knowing my mom hadn't said anything. When my brother moved in with his Lady, "don't tell Grammy." When my sister bought her house and her Man moved in with her, "don't tell Grammy." I think this is completely asinine, and unnecessary. But, hey, there's nothing like the illusion of a perfect family in the Italian culture.

But it gets better: When the second eldest cousin got married, they decided not to get married in the Church. Grammy refused to come to the wedding, claiming that they aren't really getting married because it's not in the eyes of God. I didn't agree with her, but on some level still respected her for taking her faith as seriously as she feels she needs to. The downside is that Grammy won't talk to his wife at any of the holidays. Oh sure, she'll say Hello and be polite, but won't make any conversation. I feel that is extremely rude and somewhat retarded. Just because a person doesn't share the same beliefs as you, doesn't mean you need to completely ignore them as a human.

Now on to the hypocritical part: About a week ago, my mom gave me the news that one of my cousins is pregnant...out of wedlock. And my first question was, "What's Grammy's reaction?!" Apparently Grammy was the one to tell my mom, saying that while it's a "mistake," they are willing to correct said "mistake" and get married in the Church, thus making everything OK.

Hello?!?! Am I the only one that thinks there's a double standard in there?

I went on to ask my mom about Grammy's point of view, and Mom said that some day when I have kids, I'll understand. (WTF! What is that supposed to mean?!) She went on by saying that she didn't know how to explain it, but this instance of pregnancy is completely different than Andy and Meg getting married out of the Church, because that had been a conscious decision.

Last time I checked, pre-marital sex is a conscious decision, too!

This has really been bothering me for an entire week, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I believe whole-heartedly in "respect your elders," so it's not like I can call out my Grandmother for a throw-down. I guess I'll just have to settle for slight discomfort at family holidays. RATS!!! AGAIN!!!!

betrayal in two contexts

Starting off, Admirer has a new pseudonym: Toast

So, Toast and I were talking one day about fidelity, or the lack there-of. Do we think it's in our nature to cheat on a person we might be romantically attached to, or even help another person cheat on their significant other if we were unattached. It was an interesting conversation. While we were both raised Catholic (and there-for both now Recovering Catholics), we have very different views about a lot of different moral and ethical issues. Fidelity being one of them.

For instance: While I might enjoy the looks and personality of a married man, I would never, EVER become involved with him. I know this for certain because of things in my past and the way those things have influenced and shaped me. Now Toast, on the other hand, has actually been involved in a relationship with a married woman. Married with kids. I'm not one to judge, certainly because I didn't know him then, but because of this experience in his life he now feels like he can dictate to me my own behavior. SO not appreciated.

One of Toast's best friends (we'll call High-Def) is married...for the third time. That right there would be enough of a "hands-off" for me, but if it weren't, he also has one child, with another on the way with Wife #3. Oh yeah, and apparently he isn't known for his fidelity. While Toast says he's never witnessed said acts of infidelity, he has his suspicions. I know High-Def and have been out with them a couple of times now, and I like him from what I know of him. He's funny, easy to talk to, and really nice! I don't feel uncomfortable around him in the slightest bit, and am fine with him as a person until he gives me a reason not to be.

But now because High-Def and I hit it off as what I feel is a good foundation of becoming friends, Toast thinks that something is going to happen between us. So incredibly off base. Actually, in contrast, I'm probably the safest female for High-Def to be hanging out with. But it still irks me that someone I thought who really understood me would make such a blanket judgement call on my personality. There's almost a feeling of betrayal.

I'm pretty sure that was never Toast's intention. It was probably something said more in jest than anything else, but how is he to know how close to home that topic strikes?! I want to talk to him about it because we both made a promise to each other to always be honest with one another, letting the other know when something is bothering us, but he's traveling for work and out of the state for the next few days...and I feel this is definitely an "in-person" conversation. And knowing myself, I am now going to dwell on this and stew about it until I see him next. RATS!

Cracker Jacks and 40's

Friday's game ROCKED! We won 9-6, and I made an awesome catch for a crucial out we needed. I was playing catcher again, and while my knees still haven't quite recovered (note to self, pack knee-brace for next game), I loved it. I feel like I actually contributed to the win instead of just filling the female quota we need without getting a penalty. Now it's another 1 1/2 weeks until the next one...what a tease!

The game itself was great, and a lot of fun, but being there and meeting all the guys was the highlight. While it's a 'company team' most of the people on it are those that used to work here and don't anymore...but the common thread and glue of the group is my Admirer from work. It's kind of a weird situation because they all know of me and about me, and I know of/about them, and have for months, but we all haven't met yet until last Friday night.

It was fun to put faces with the names and stories I've been hearing for months now. And bonding over many (MANY) rounds of drinks after the game really made me feel like part of the gang, and not just being there as Admirer's friend.

So, the season is definitely upon us and I'm as psyched as ever. I look forward to hanging out with this new group...maybe even talk some more of them into the Vegas trip in September?! Who knows! The summer is just starting (I know it's technically still only Spring...whatever!), and I have so many plans and ideas, it's going to be great!

Opening Day

The season is finally here! Today is the first game of the softball season, and I've had my gear packed since Monday. Can you tell I'm a little excited?!

There is just something about lacing up the cleats, and wearing a sweaty glove that turns your hand orange from the leather dye.

The camaraderie and (if you're lucky) slaps on the ass. The high-fives, and the strike-outs. RBI's and home runs.

And of course the bar after the game!

Ahhh...softball season! Glee!

Pulling Through

I heard from Steve yesterday around lunch time. He told me his dad pulled through the operation just fine, but that he had to remain in ICU overnight for observation. With any hope, he'll be moved to a regular room today, and remain there for at least the rest of the week.

I could hear the relief in his voice and felt the same relief in myself. He thanked me for caring, for calling and for offering to take the day off and hang out with him to keep his mind off of the surgery. He made the comment that his girlfriend didn't even offer to do that, and I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to take that any other way then just gratitude.

With any hope I'll be able to visit his dad at the house this weekend, and that his recovery remains on the upward trend. I can't even count the number of family gatherings I have been to at their house, and I didn't realize until I received that phone call how nervous and upset I was, too about the operation.

somber

"Steve's" dad is having surgery this morning...and a pretty intensive one at that. And as I sit at my desk trying to figure out what I need to do for my day at work, the only thing that comes to my chaotic and unsettled mind is that I need to be with him today...but I can't be, because he didn't ask me to be.

He never ended up coming over on Sunday. He called and cancelled, as is his way. Many would see his actions as talking a good talk, but I know he's scared to put himself in a position where he might actually have to act on what he wants. And I can understand that all, too well. Why put yourself out there when what you have at the moment is safe, even if it's not what you want?! At least you know what you're dealing with, and there are no surprises. No heartaches.

It's funny, in a heart-wrenching sort of way, that I know he makes poor excuses for cancelling. Every single time. And even more so that I let him. I don't call him out on his little white lies, giving him that false sense of security, of "ignorance is bliss" feeling. It's a game we play, one that we both know the rules to. One that we seem caught up in until one of us will force the other's hand to face reality and the truth. But we don't do that, won't do that, because we both know if we do, it'll be over. And neither of us can bare that.

So, we continue to play this game. Going around and around. Ignoring the elephant in the room.

Conditioned

Pavlov and his damn dogs!

Part of my ‘well-rounded education’ provided by University included a Psychology class, level 101. Anyone who has ever taken even the minutest level of Psychology has heard of Pavlov and his conditioning experiments on those poor dogs that drove people to animal activism.

For those fortunate enough to not have suffered through a psychology class, the basic premise behind conditioning is a learned, reinforced behavior as a response to some kind of stimuli. It is something that I find I often reference in so many different contexts of my life. As the one lesson that I retained from this intro course, I have thus established my “well-roundedness” by Univeristy standards.

Lately, I have come to associate this experiment with how I react to any intense emotion I find in myself. In the past, the foremost intense emotion I felt was passion. Whether it is towards another person, albeit male, or a hobby/pastime, it is an emotion that has led me on a path which has ended with other, less desirable and equally severe emotions. As a result of this learned behavior, I now try not to get too excited or impassioned about anything in particular. And to further that result, any other strong emotion I feel now makes me equally nervous for fear of finding myself down a road that is most difficult to come back from.

I know this is not good. While it is helpful to be able to detach one self from certain feelings and situations, to become completely devoid of emotion for fear of feeling is also stifling. I am trying to work on this as I try to grow as a person, but it is difficult since this only grows with time, as the behavior is reinforced each time it happens. To undergo so much hurt and pain at a young age helps wizen one quickly, but also tends to jade perceptions and opinions of things, turning cynical and disparaging.

But even with the ‘knowing’ that it is not good, I still find myself cutting things out of my life that cause me to feel too much of anything, whether it is disappointment, jealousy, love, empathy. Positive or negative, it doesn’t seem to matter. I have hope that as I learn more about myself in this time of self-examination I seem to be going through that this will change, but that too frightens me because what if it doesn't change?! Then I have hoped for nothing and will only be let down by myself, the one person I am supposed to be 100% reliant upon. Lately, it seems that I am content to be just that…content. And I wonder if that is so wrong; to want the mediocrity of emotion.

WINNAH!!

Last Monday, on an author's blog I read daily, she asked for help in distributing promotional materials to help her promote her new book. This is what she posted as her "contest:"

I'm looking to get seven people to spread these postcards around their city/college campus. Not only will you suckers, I mean, volunteers, get thanked in the acknowledgments of my third book but you'll also receive the satisfaction of aiding someone entirely undeserving of your help who at this very moment is likely lounging around her heated/air-conditioned home watching Pussycat Dolls Presents: Search for the Next Doll and eating healthy snacks instead of taking stacks of these postcards to beauty salons and boutiques and gyms and train stations and sorority houses.

Still not convinced, right?

I so don't blame you.

To sweeten the deal, I'll also send you a signed copy of the new book along with your towering stack of postcards which is cool because you'll get to read [the book] weeks before it goes on sale.
So, on the off-chance you want to do this and I end up with more than seven people, tell me where you'd be distributing these things and also please say something to convince me that you're not really going to let these things rot in your own front hallway.

(And if a whole lot of you want to do this, I am certainly not above accepting bribes for I am shameful.)

Having absolutely loved her first book (which was a memoir of her privileged life gone bad when she got laid off after 9-11) with her rude sarcasm and witty humor, I absolutely had to write her and "volunteer." I wrote something I thought rivaled her wit, and shameless used the fact that I used to work at the publishing house that handles her books.

And it worked like a charm!

Out of over 300 emails, I am one of eleven "winners" to help her cause in promoting the new book...plus, I absolutely can NOT wait to read it weeks before it hits shelves! She wrote me a personal email letting me know I've been chosen, saying how it was cool I used to work for The Bird, how she thought when her publicist let her roam the take-shelf room was the "Best. Day. Ever." and how she looked forward to meeting me at the signing in June when she'll be in NYC on her book tour. I can't help but feel special! :) Boo-Ya!

Right as Rain

I felt like I was a day early on the whole Friday the 13th thing because yesterday was a very odd, disorienting day for me. True, starting my day out yesterday by damning souls to hell probably didn't help much, but that was all in good fun.

The Roommie was taking her own car to the train station in the morning, so that meant I could sleep a whole hour later! Woohoo! I was able to take my time in a nice, long, hot shower. I even put the effort into shaving my legs! AND, it was raining when I stepped outside...even better! "Steve" called me while I waited on my train platform and we chatted and planned for him to come over on Sunday for a visit when he was making his way back home from CT (I love being "on the way"). There was no line at the Hot & Crusty. The 'C' train pulled in right as I stepped onto the platform. And my favorite song came on the nano's shuffle! I even had a "kind-of" date to look forward to after work.

So, why the hell does it sound like I'm wondering "WTF?"

Because everything was going so smoothly and perfectly, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it never did...not really. And that, in it of itself, was incredibly out of the norm.

The only little hiccough of my day was that my "kind-of" date got cancelled, with the promise of being made up to. It was disappointing, but I didn't dwell on the fact that every time a guy promised to "make it up to me" they never did. Since I was in the mind set of going out after work instead of just going straight home, I was restless and wanted to do something. I sent out a mass-text message to some friends asking if anyone knew of a comfy/lounge-type cafe in NYC where I could drink some tea and just read my book undisturbed. I must say, Moosie really pulled through for me because I texted about 6 different people and she was the only one to get back to me to help a girl out! (Thank you!)

With my new destination in mind, I hopped an uptown train and found myself walking into the best place ever! I was able to sit with a steaming pot of Ginger Tea and a delightful scone, and read my book with complete ease and comfort (McG, I totally need to take you here one day soon, because I know you'd fall just as much in love with the place as I did). And I give major props to the waitress who could very perceptively see that I just wanted to chill and hang out. She didn't continue to bother me by asking if I had everything I needed. She actually left me completely alone, which was perfect and no reflection on her attentiveness, as I could clearly see she was always well aware of all her tables' needs.

Oh, and back-pedal a little bit. Just as I got off my uptown train, I had a text message from a friend of mine asking if I wanted to watch the Ranger's game with him last night. I wrote him back, saying "hell's yeah...meet me at Blondie's for the face-off."

The entire day felt like the pieces of a puzzle just fitting together seamlessly, like it was all meant and as right as the ocean tides. I can't remember the last time I had such ease in my day. Little reassurances like a day such as this are what help me to smile when I wake up in the morning, instead of groaning and ruefully greeting the day. Small blessings and such, I guess!

Damned!

To wrap-up yesterday's little social experiment, I actually lost count somewhere after trying to get to my LIRR train in Penn Station. It was damn-near impossible to keep track of how many people like to shove and push their way through a crowd. But if I had to guesstimate, I would probably say somewhere around 75...in Penn Station alone!

And now on to something completely different.

I found a new website that I absolutely love. The sadistic side of me does, anyway. It helps to relieve a little bit of stress by giving you a teensy bit of satisfaction. This morning, I damned two souls already, and that was all before 9am! Man, I'm good!

So check it out, have a little fun with it. You can be serious with your anger, or just be fun and make a joke of it!

Damn a soul today!

Still Counting

As of 4pm...body count = 27

Body Count

Ever take notice of how many people you might brush up against, or bump into either on purpose or accidentally throughout your day?! I know Rockstar had posted something about this a while back, but I never really stopped to think much about it.

Now that I walk to and from Penn Station-Work every morning and evening, I am noticing more and more how much I have to dodge, dive, duck, and...dodge to get out of people's way so we don't have a collision. Even while sitting on LIRR, the leg-brush, knee slam or bag-whack to the head will happen if you're not paying close attention.

This morning I had a guy step on both my feet and slam his knee into mine as he was trying to get to a seat...all without saying excuse me, or any remittance of apology of course. This occurrence is not rare by any means, but for some reason it had me thinking of Rockstar's past post this morning. So, I'm attempting to keep count myself today of how many people I come in literal physical contact with, as just a simple experiment of pure curiosity.

So far, since 7:40am, the body count is up to 7.

Winos that I Know

Saturday was my first day on the job at the Village Wine Cellar and I loved every minute of it. Especially I loved dealing directly with customers! Weird, right?!

When I worked in a florist for seven years, I absolutely loved every minute of it. The crazy holiday hours, the artistic expression, the regular customers, the first timers, even the disgruntled customers. There has always been something so fun and fascinating to me about helping to provide exactly what a customer wants, it's so incredibly satisfying.

I haven't worked in the atmosphere of dealing directly with customers for three years now, and I've missed every moment of it. That is partly why I asked for this job. The extra money will definitely help, but mostly its because I miss what I love so much, and I need that little extra something to make my normal 9-5, Monday-Friday bearable. Some don't understand why I would want to work 6 days a week, but I never really thought of working in the mom & pop shop as real work because it was, and is, so fun!

So this past Saturday, my first day, was so great. I was scheduled to work 12 noon - 8 pm, but ended up staying until closing time at 9pm because it was so busy and I was having so much fun! I was utterly exhausted by the time I got home, and felt so great about it. My new boss said I did great on my first day, and I look forward to learning all I can about wine! As we were locking up, I asked "Same bat-time; same bat-channel?" He smiled, and said "most definitely! See you next weekend!"

It was the first time, in a very long time, that I actually left work with a smile on my face!

Twenty-Somethings

I never watched the show Sex and the City when it was airing on HBO. For one reason, I grew up with only network television. And for another reason I was a little too young at the time to fully grasp the scope of it all. Now, however, I look forward to the reruns on TBS or whatever channel.

The other night's episode was when Samantha and Carrie start seeing only young, 'twenty-somethings' and think it's the best thing ever. Samantha, the sex-crazed woman that she is was only too eager to find a younger beau to fulfill all of her fantasies. Carrie loved the fact that she was getting reacquainted with 'just kissing' and all the wonderfulness that can entail.

Some time ago, one night when I was out drinking with some friends, they were trying to help me figure out my failed relationships...or more like they were just trying to figure it out while I was trying to find the bottom of my glass. Their hypothesis was that I dated older guys. I wasn't quite sure how they came to the idea that this was the reason they were all failed, but I went along with it for a little while, trying to find out what their solution was.

Date younger guys, of course.

The problem with that is I'm still pretty young myself, only reaching my quarter-life this year. The reason I never dated guys my own age (except for Joe) was maybe because of Joe, and I just can't relate to them. The reply I got back was why did I feel I needed to relate to them at all?!

So today, as I sit across from my friend at lunch who is barely 22, I am reminded of the Sex and the City episode and that night with my friends a long while ago. And as I sit there, I try to think if I could ever find myself seeking this situation on a dating level...dating a younger guy.

His catchy repertoire about snorting the wasabi was answer enough in my mind.

And thus the "no-dating" is reaffirmed in my mind yet again.

Changes in Latitudes

This Sunday is Easter Sunday. I don't go to church anymore, or hold a belief in the Catholic Church as a whole anymore, but it is still a holiday I choose to celebrate with my family. It is more for the reason of gathering as a family that I still cherish this holiday, or any religious holiday for that matter. I have never spent one holiday away from my family. On occasion, my brother or sister would not be able to make it, but that was due to their life circumstances and I never thought anything of it other than just missing them.

This Sunday will be the first time ever that I do not spend the holiday with my family and it is such a strange and bizarre feeling to me, so incredibly foreign that I'm not really sure how I feel about it.

My sister is on-call this weekend, so she can't make it home, or even make it to her boyfriend's family. So, like we did for Thanksgiving two years ago, the holiday and family is being brought to her. Even my brother and his girlfriend are making it, which was a pleasant surprise. I will be the only one not there.

Saturday I start my new job at the Village Wine Cellar. And because of that, and not being able to take time off on Monday, keeps me from making the trip. It sucks, but it's the hand that was dealt me. It's times like this that really make me wish my sister lived a hell of a lot closer, and also makes me realize that we're all growing up and growing into our own lives.

But thankfully, due to small blessings, I won't be spending the holiday alone. Wangie and her family have asked me if I would like to spend the holiday and come for dinner with their family. I was so touched, and immediately felt some of the weirdness about the coming holiday ease away. It won't be the same, but it will be nice and almost just as good...and definitely fun since any time spent with her family usually turns into a laugh fest!

Back from the business trip to Maryland and right into a fantastic, but busy weekend has me thoroughly exhausted this morning.

I didn't end up making it for drinks with Bo that Thursday night, but I have already been told to plan on another trip down there in July so he said to definitely plan on it then. And I was also informed that I will be making a trip to Chicago in June to our sister company out there. There's a fairly large group of people going, so I'm pretty excited about that trip.

Thursday night I ended up running another 3 miles to work out the frustrations of left-over Boy crap-o-la. This morning, once I was back in the office, I figured out how to block his email address from my Outlook Inbox. So now hopefully that will work and if he still persists on being an inconsiderate ass, I won't ever know!

Friday, the Amtrak train ride back to NY was great. I slept a little and read a little. Once back in Penn Station I shlept my luggage downtown and headed straight to the bar! Friday was my brother's last day of work and he had a bar night shin-dig. It was really great to meet a lot of people he has worked with over the years that I always heard about but never met. And apparently a lot of his friends felt the same way about me!

It never ceases to amaze me when I learn something new about my brother. I think it is so incredibly wonderful that I can still learn so much about a person I have known all of my life. When I introduced myself to people and asked how they knew my brother, they asked me the same. I replied with "I'm his younger sister," and a number of times I got a reply similar to "Oh, wow! It's so great to finally meet you! I've heard a lot about you!" Generally I don't feel so narcissistic, but Friday night I was loving the fact that my brother talks about me with some frequency! The fact of the matter is that my perception of my brother is that he's a very private person who doesn't talk much about his family to his friends. When I learned the opposite to be true I felt a new found affection for him.

Ahh, my brother. He's definitely in a class all unto himself, gotta love him. And right now he's probably still sleeping, the lucky bastard!